hey Jeff, @jeff-cloudgenuitygmail-com - I'm not sure if you had a chance to look at this article, we have some cold calling scripts and tips: https://www.vendasta.com/blog/cold-calling-script-template/

Love Ben's article – that was going to be my first suggestion too!

This is a neat resource for cold email templates as well. You might be able to adapt these for phone conversations to a point.

For warmer leads (those people who you see are clicking through or even opening emails) you might want to take a look at this article about discovery calls. By our definition, this is closer to what you described!

Hi Jeff - nice to meet you! I know your sample message was something you just put out there without thinking it through a lot, just to get everyone's opinion, but I write a lot of sales emails for my clients and hope you don't mind a few pointers.

Do not ever begin with or even state “I know that you’re probably busy right now and don’t have time to go over it" - this immediately sets the tone that your time and product/service has no value! It's also kind of like begging the reader to pay attention which you definitely don't need to do. A better way to begin is by asking a question that makes the reader stop and continue reading. Something like "Have you ever wondered how your business looks online? I can show you what others see." Isn't this more intriguing?

Don't ever say "I’d like to schedule something when you have more time" - for all of the reasons above and also because you want your email to entice the reader to WANT to schedule a meeting...this is the whole point of the email!

Finally, this sentence is also weak: "and we can go through it together and see how we may be able to help you improve in some of those areas.” To "see how we may be able" implies you may not be able to help and you don't want to give this impression.

Here's a basic email template I think may work better for you:

Hi [name],

Have you ever wondered how your business looks online? I can show you what others see through our intelligent and innovative Snapshot report, which lets you take a deeper dive into how your business appears online, and how that impression can be improved. It's simple, succinct and, sometimes, surprising!

I'd love to show you - let's schedule a free 15 minute call at your convenience. Here's a link to my calendar: [cnfjfiriririr]

Excited to talk with you!

Jeff

Good luck!

Victoria

@u-d69ff8ed-0bd5-4ca4-8bad-48aeed73eed9 and @jnehervendasta-com Thank you both for these links. Both of them were right up the alley of what I was looking for. I need to take some time to steal little pieces from both to fit what I'm looking for.

@8377 I appreciate your advice. I might not have been clear in my post. But I had said that these leads were part of my e-mail campaign and that I was looking for a Warm Call script. I love your comments on my quick script about "I know you're probably busy right now." As I stated in my post, I'm trying to figure out the best way to fit these calls into my schedule. I was looking for something where I can quickly and easily call these leads while I'm driving home, to setup and better day and time where I would be more available as well. I'm looking for something simple to say where I don't have to go back and do a bunch of homework before I call them. Ideally I can call them the following day after I've seen they looked at the e-mail campaign and basically say, "Hey yeah that email you just checked, with the Snapshot report about your business, lets setup a time to go over it." Then for that call I would obviously do all my homework for.

Thanks for everyone that's commented on this.

Jeff,

Thank YOU for asking these questions! Cold calls are something I'm trying to figure out as well, so this thread was very helpful.

Thanks everyone!

-Julia